Thursday, July 23, 2015

A year to remember....

A year to remember.... Sadly that kind of sounds like a Walk to Remember... But I can promise I wont be writing a sad love story... A story that will break your heart. Instead I am going to take a moment and share some surreal, true feelings and expressions of the past year. 

A year ago in May I decided to take a chance, I was a single mom of a 2 month old. I was terrified to put myself out there again but I decided it was probably time to see what my future may hold. I knew I had my things that may lay in the way of a man wanting to date me.

 1. I had a newborn basically. 
 2. I was a college student and a full-time Hospice CNA and part-time caregiver. 
 3. I had a very guarded heart
 4. I felt physically there were better options than what I had to offer. 
 5. I had a sperm donor that was stressing me out through a child support battle. 

All these things, which weren't many I personally felt would run a man off. Who wants to date a girl who's had gastric bypass and excess skin? Who wants to date someone with a newborn child? How are they going to fit in between my crazy work schedule, a part-time job, my online school and my daughter? Is there a man that will love my daughter as his own one day? Will there be a man that decides to put up with the drama of having a battle with a sperm donor? The answer is YES! There is a man that is out there that is chosen and meant to fit into our lives in the most perfect, most simplest ways. I didn't believe it, you always think well isn't she lucky, but why not me... Timing has everything to do with it. 

I feel that when I finally gave up looking, when I felt that I was ready to raise my daughter alone and knew that I no longer NEEDED a man is when things started to change for me. I focused on my weight loss. I focused on my daughter's happiness. I focused on becoming something better for my daughter so that she would grow up not struggling and would know what it really means to work for what you want and not be handed down things in life. That's when I got a special message from the man I now call my husband! 

Last June I was at a birthday party for a friend's son. We were sitting and talking and I get a notification that I have a message. I look and it's a message from Jeremy. He is very easy to hold a conversation with and I don't mean 1 line sentences he would respond back in full paragraphs. We shared some common interest, then bam! I find out his employment... He's Military! I did not trust military men, I knew from the town I lived in these men were often players. But I expressed my concerns to him, and he promised me that he wasn't the typical military guy. Conversations continued as he was deployed and as we got closer to his coming home date it was interesting how we were able to simply hold our daily conversations, and nothing felt forced. It flowed and was genuine. I started thinking, okay he comes home he meets me and then he'll probably vanish. Ha! Was I wrong! 

Jeremy took me on our first date on July 27th, I ended up bringing A. along with me to see how he would handled being around her. We met at Rudy's Texas BBQ in Old Colorado City. And then went for a walk in Garden of the Gods with A. This man was so sweet, so worried about tipping A's stroller over, was chattering almost non stop..Poor guy was so nervous... we talked for hours and walked. Little did I know that he would be bugging me and chasing me down for another date, haha! 

Jeremy bonded with A, took interest in my job, my future, and was involved in learning who I was as a person. One of the most meaningful things he told me was that he could see how I was devoted to my weight loss and had lost so much weight that he knew I would be dedicated and devoted to other things in life. This hit home to me and made me see that this man was learning to love me and my daughter for who I was through my soul and not my appearance only. This man knew what made my heart beat and made me get up every day. 

I often sit at home and think, how the heck did I end up so lucky. How did I find that man that loves not only me for who I am, but loves my daughter as OUR daughter? He was terrified of babies, wouldn't touch her and slowly fell in love with her and now he chases her around and plays with her. He cannot even go a day without asking about her, and when we are without her he often wonders what she is doing or talks about her. This man was meant to be a daddy and husband! And I am lucky that my daughter and I get to share that life with him! 

When I sat down and decided to move to another state with him I weighed in my head many things I seeked in a man that I would settle down and marry. I wanted a man that could not only be my best friend, but my husband. I wanted someone I could be open with in communication and not be fearful of his response. I wanted a man that would be honest with me regarding my looks, that would encourage and support my weight loss, and working out. I wanted someone that would not treat A any different that any future children, or any children he may have already had. I wanted someone that would balance me when I got stressed out. I wanted someone that was Selfless, Compassionate, Loyal and Devoted. I wanted someone that had family that would accept A as their own not placing the title "STEP" in front of daughter. These were all traits that I saw in my father and hoped one day I would have in a husband. Surprise Surprise I got all of it! 

A year ago I would have never seen my life where it is now. Had I run away being fearful, saying what if it doesn't work or what if he can't stand me when we live together. I would have missed out on an amazing man. Jeremy has so much to offer and I am lucky that a year later, I can call him my husband. The year has flown by and I can only hope and imagine that the next 30 years do the same as we watch our daughter's grow up and as we transition through career changes and our own life changes. I have learned to never take time together for granted and to cherish the memories you can create because you just never know what tomorrow may hold. Jeremy is my rock when times are tough, he is my shoulder to cry on when I feel I have done wrong, he is the best friend I have seeked for many years. Most importantly he is the man I married and now call my husband and will grow old with.

Know this marriage takes work, communication, and time. It is 100% give and take on both sides in order for it to be successful. Do not give up with the going gets tough, because we are never sent through a storm that we cannot handle. 

I love you babe and I cannot wait for the memories we are able to create over the next several years as our girls grow up! 

Krista XoXo

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