CyberBullying!

  

            Today I wanted to take a second and blog about something that occurred to me last night. Something that I haven't been through personally till now and something I really didn't think I would ever personally face as an adult. That would be CYBER-BULLYING! 

Cyber-bullying as defined is the dictionary is: the act of harassing someone online by sending or posting mean messages, usually anonymously.

                  I personally as a 26 year old mother never thought that removing a simple person from my Facebook for personal reasons would end up in a personal cyber-bullying me in a group that we were both part of. This person feels that because she left me anonymous, however posted intentionally for me to see her post that she was leaving because I removed her from my Facebook and the admins of such group wouldn't kick me out that she would post hints about who I was, How many mutual friends I had with others and continue to bash me for what reasons I removed her from my Facebook for. When I addressed her that she was being a cyber bully she stated because it was anonymous it wasn't cyber-bullying... Sad truth is it is still!

                  When you bash, belittle, harass, attack someone with mentioning a name or not mentioning a name you are being a bully.  You are trying to hurt someone intentionally and by people responding on her post and getting involved in discussion about it is making those who commented a bully as well. 

          

              It is quite sad how you an watch the news and see reports of children, teens, adults killing themselves over the fact that someone, somewhere on the Internet was being a bully to them. And I am sure just like this person, they play the victim and say how they weren't bullying the person that has ended their life in all reality that are the cause and are a mean and hateful person deep down inside. 

           After my incident last night, I have learned a few things about this incident and what it has made me feel. I do not agree with nor will I ever accept anyone bullying me for standing up for my own beliefs, my own feelings and my own opinion. Some one's life choices and decisions are their own to live with and if I chose to remove someone from my life because I don't agree with those choices I am not in the wrong. I am allowed to be human, I am allowed to feel a certain way and I am allowed to have my own privacy. I will never ever tolerate my daughter's bullying another person and I will take proper action to place discipline to my children for bullying anyone. It is our job as parents to raise our daughter's and son's to respect others and to be civil, but at the same time our children are allowed freedom of speech and to voice their opinions. My child will never be subject to bullying either. I can guarantee that I will take the steps needed to make sure anyone that bullies my children will have to answer to their actions. And last but not least, I have learned I am not a victim by this little girls actions. She obviously has some battles and issues in her own life that she feels the need to tear down someone else, to get a group of so called grown women attacking an unnamed person. By being the bigger person and by not responding to the hurtful comments, the bashing and the hatred, I am the bigger person. I didn't become a victim other than her trying to make me one. I can sit here today with a clear mind and know that I said nothing wrong, I didn't respond in a moment of hatred and I didn't let her get to me. Instead she showed me all the signs to watch for to prevent bullying especially cyber bullying from happening to myself or my children.

  So to you, I thank you. Thank you for showing me I am strong, for attacking me and letting me find my strengths when most fall down and loose the battle. Thank you for proving how much I have grown in the last 2 years. Thank you for teaching me a lesson that I will one day be able to teach my daughters. Thank you for proving another lesson in my life where I will not play victim but will use it to teach someone else. Thank you for allowing me to find the beauty in the friendships I do have. 

Krista XO


**All Images Borrowed from Pinterest and are not my property**

A year to remember....

A year to remember.... Sadly that kind of sounds like a Walk to Remember... But I can promise I wont be writing a sad love story... A story that will break your heart. Instead I am going to take a moment and share some surreal, true feelings and expressions of the past year. 

A year ago in May I decided to take a chance, I was a single mom of a 2 month old. I was terrified to put myself out there again but I decided it was probably time to see what my future may hold. I knew I had my things that may lay in the way of a man wanting to date me.

 1. I had a newborn basically. 
 2. I was a college student and a full-time Hospice CNA and part-time caregiver. 
 3. I had a very guarded heart
 4. I felt physically there were better options than what I had to offer. 
 5. I had a sperm donor that was stressing me out through a child support battle. 

All these things, which weren't many I personally felt would run a man off. Who wants to date a girl who's had gastric bypass and excess skin? Who wants to date someone with a newborn child? How are they going to fit in between my crazy work schedule, a part-time job, my online school and my daughter? Is there a man that will love my daughter as his own one day? Will there be a man that decides to put up with the drama of having a battle with a sperm donor? The answer is YES! There is a man that is out there that is chosen and meant to fit into our lives in the most perfect, most simplest ways. I didn't believe it, you always think well isn't she lucky, but why not me... Timing has everything to do with it. 

I feel that when I finally gave up looking, when I felt that I was ready to raise my daughter alone and knew that I no longer NEEDED a man is when things started to change for me. I focused on my weight loss. I focused on my daughter's happiness. I focused on becoming something better for my daughter so that she would grow up not struggling and would know what it really means to work for what you want and not be handed down things in life. That's when I got a special message from the man I now call my husband! 

Last June I was at a birthday party for a friend's son. We were sitting and talking and I get a notification that I have a message. I look and it's a message from Jeremy. He is very easy to hold a conversation with and I don't mean 1 line sentences he would respond back in full paragraphs. We shared some common interest, then bam! I find out his employment... He's Military! I did not trust military men, I knew from the town I lived in these men were often players. But I expressed my concerns to him, and he promised me that he wasn't the typical military guy. Conversations continued as he was deployed and as we got closer to his coming home date it was interesting how we were able to simply hold our daily conversations, and nothing felt forced. It flowed and was genuine. I started thinking, okay he comes home he meets me and then he'll probably vanish. Ha! Was I wrong! 

Jeremy took me on our first date on July 27th, I ended up bringing A. along with me to see how he would handled being around her. We met at Rudy's Texas BBQ in Old Colorado City. And then went for a walk in Garden of the Gods with A. This man was so sweet, so worried about tipping A's stroller over, was chattering almost non stop..Poor guy was so nervous... we talked for hours and walked. Little did I know that he would be bugging me and chasing me down for another date, haha! 

Jeremy bonded with A, took interest in my job, my future, and was involved in learning who I was as a person. One of the most meaningful things he told me was that he could see how I was devoted to my weight loss and had lost so much weight that he knew I would be dedicated and devoted to other things in life. This hit home to me and made me see that this man was learning to love me and my daughter for who I was through my soul and not my appearance only. This man knew what made my heart beat and made me get up every day. 

I often sit at home and think, how the heck did I end up so lucky. How did I find that man that loves not only me for who I am, but loves my daughter as OUR daughter? He was terrified of babies, wouldn't touch her and slowly fell in love with her and now he chases her around and plays with her. He cannot even go a day without asking about her, and when we are without her he often wonders what she is doing or talks about her. This man was meant to be a daddy and husband! And I am lucky that my daughter and I get to share that life with him! 

When I sat down and decided to move to another state with him I weighed in my head many things I seeked in a man that I would settle down and marry. I wanted a man that could not only be my best friend, but my husband. I wanted someone I could be open with in communication and not be fearful of his response. I wanted a man that would be honest with me regarding my looks, that would encourage and support my weight loss, and working out. I wanted someone that would not treat A any different that any future children, or any children he may have already had. I wanted someone that would balance me when I got stressed out. I wanted someone that was Selfless, Compassionate, Loyal and Devoted. I wanted someone that had family that would accept A as their own not placing the title "STEP" in front of daughter. These were all traits that I saw in my father and hoped one day I would have in a husband. Surprise Surprise I got all of it! 

A year ago I would have never seen my life where it is now. Had I run away being fearful, saying what if it doesn't work or what if he can't stand me when we live together. I would have missed out on an amazing man. Jeremy has so much to offer and I am lucky that a year later, I can call him my husband. The year has flown by and I can only hope and imagine that the next 30 years do the same as we watch our daughter's grow up and as we transition through career changes and our own life changes. I have learned to never take time together for granted and to cherish the memories you can create because you just never know what tomorrow may hold. Jeremy is my rock when times are tough, he is my shoulder to cry on when I feel I have done wrong, he is the best friend I have seeked for many years. Most importantly he is the man I married and now call my husband and will grow old with.

Know this marriage takes work, communication, and time. It is 100% give and take on both sides in order for it to be successful. Do not give up with the going gets tough, because we are never sent through a storm that we cannot handle. 

I love you babe and I cannot wait for the memories we are able to create over the next several years as our girls grow up! 

Krista XoXo

Fat Shaming, My Thoughts....

I wanted to take time today to write a blog that I felt was very a very important subject to me. You probably have seen it often in the news lately and women and men are taking to Twitter and Facebook about it as well. That topic would be: "FAT SHAMING". This is a touchy subject so I am approaching it with caution but at the same time I am writing from my heart and my views on it. 

Fat Shaming is described as "A term made by obese people to avoid the responsibility to actually take proper care of their body and instead victimize themselves by pretending they’re discriminated like an ethnic group." (http://definithing.com/fat-shaming/) 

Fat Shaming and taking acceptance of your body are 2 different things. We as Americans lately it seems to want to take anything and turn it into a way of being racist, hateful and so on. We want to be a victim in some light or fashion. We need to wake up! This is not okay. WE do NOT need to teach our sons and daughters that it is okay to morbidly obese. 

When I grew up as a little girl I was overweight. I wasn't happy being overweight, unable to keep up with fit friends and I knew my life was unhealthy. My parents didn't support my weight but they also didn't look down on me negatively. What they did do was provide me with resources and chances to try and fix myself. They loved me as ME, not for being FAT or being SKINNY but because of who I AM! 

By Fat Shaming we are supporting that life style instead of encouraging our children that we need to do our best to be healthy, to be active and to work on ourselves. I am not saying there is anything wrong with my daughter having more weight than she should, but it is my job as a mom to encourage her lifestyle and being healthy. Not to encourage her to continue to gain weight and continue to be at health's door step for continuous health problems. There is a difference between being HEALTHY and being UNHEALTHY. Between making excuses "Fat Shaming" and accepting your body for who you really are! 

I am taking a stand in my own life to not support FAT SHAMING but to encourage body acceptance. Accept yourself for who you are, you are not a victim, you can change anything you want to change but it begins with YOU! I will teach A and my unborn child that just because they may be a little heavier, they may have to eat a little different to get back on track, that being outdoors with their father and I and being active is not only good for them emotionally, but also physically and mentally. I will teach them that they can love who they are on the inside because on the outside we are ALWAYS changing. The key as a parent is to provide the necessary tools for our children! And being there and being a ROLE MODEL for our children! 

I know what it's like to be judged, to be made fun of, to not fit in because I was too FAT to wear what the other girls wore, or I wasn't pretty enough. But Today I can say, Those girls that judged me, that bashed me, that looked down on me, 50% of them reversed roles with me. I am now that fit mom, that healthy mom and they aren't and I don't sit here and laugh at them. I encourage them as I wish they had encouraged me. I have hopes that they will find the path back to being healthy, to loving themselves, because in someones face you can always see the hurt, the sadness, the urge to change.

I hope you understand my views on fat shaming and body acceptance, with that being said I am going to leave you with one of my favorite quotes about body acceptance.

"I think it's so important for girls to love themselves and to treat their bodies respectfully."

Ariana Grande

Much love, 
Krista XO

Pregnancy, Health, Life!

It has been far too long since I have blogged. I keep promising myself I will get better, I will remind myself to blog weekly if I can or daily. Then I get wrapped up in life and space the blog! I apologize for that! 

So you may wonder what is new in this momma's life. Being pregnant was rough the first semester and I am finally trying to get my energy back this second semester! It is here but some days I tend to overdue myself because I think I am not pregnant. I feel the baby move and so can Jeremy now which is even more exciting.


 * How has eating been during my pregnancy?
I eat often I snack a lot more than I actually eat a meal. I have been craving shrimp lately and yes I do give in to these cravings in moderation, I do not believe it is going to harm me as everyone always panics. I eat for snacks a lot of chex mix lately, ice water, hummus and carrots. I have been sticking to Jeremy's diet list he is eating chicken and spinach lately to get fit for a test, so what might I be doing with it because that's just so boring! I make a wrap, it has french or Dorothy lynch dressing then some shredded cheese, shredded chicken and a handful of spinach. It is so tasty!! We eat low carb tortillas when we do eat them. I have become highly addicted to spicy famous daves pickle slices on everything. I also love horseradish sauce, onions and horseradish mustard!! YUM! 

*What do I drink?
I often drink water with ice, lots of it. I swear I am always in the bathroom or asking to stop to pee! I do allow myself to splurge with soda occasionally but have been very strict on water since it is so so hot here! 

*How is weight gain going?
I have only gained 3lbs. I am 22 weeks today and that is great! I only gained 25lbs total with A! So I am hoping to stay the same area to be able to bounce back quickly! 

*Changes/Differences this pregnancy than last?
I have faced so many differences this pregnancy. I am on double prenatal this round to be safe with deficiencies due to WLS. I also am on a heme or carbynol iron and calcium citrate. I am more exhausted this round, have tons more headaches and am WAY more EMOTIONAL! I have no cravings or true desires to eat, often times I have to force myself to eat and remember to eat. 

* What exercise are you doing currently?
I am not exercising at this present time and I think that has to do with the extreme heat we live in. The heat makes me feel very sick and light headed so I have been putting it off. I did begin Kayaking today with A and Jeremy and it was amazing for my arms. We are working and discussing on me beginning Cross-Fit exercises at home after baby and squats! I also have began walking at nights with Jeremy but we have been inconsistent in it with the heat, life and him in the field working. However I do feel chasing my super hyper active toddler around has given me a good run for my money in exercise! And we do go float and swim the pools as much as we can! 

* Anything different planned for this baby from my 1st?
I do not plan on doing anything differently with this pregnancy or baby than my last. The only thing I do know is I don't need half the baby stuff I got with A and that I plan to take an easy approach to much of it. Making sure A is involved enough. Being outside and active. More baby-wearing maybe. However I plan to still breastfeed which will affect my diet after baby too! Oh and I know I don't need nearly as many baby clothes as I bought and had last time!! 

Anything else you wish to know or have questions about with a WLS post pregnancy feel free to ask!! 

Here is 18 weeks 6 days photo! 

Much love,
Krista